Shall I compare thee to the Butler Choad Fountain?: A Sonnet for Columbia Lovers

 Shall I compare thee to the Butler Choad Fountain?: A Sonnet for Columbia Lovers

By Elizabeth Meyer, interning at Deloitte this summer

Shall I compare thee to the Butler Choad Fountain? Thou art more bumpy and more moist:

Lukewarm fluid excretions do exude over Low Beach, And drunken revel hath too much joy within you.  

Shall I compare thee to Deloitte? 

I would if I knew what Deloitte was. 

Shall I compare thee to the Chastity Gates? 

Thou art more beautiful, bold, and far less chaste.  Gentle breezes do knock aspirins from your knees, But all romps hath ended by 11 pm.  

Shall I compare thee to Sig Nu? 

I would solely if I did not love you.  

Shall I compare thee to Alma Mater? 

Thou art more photographed and more filmed. Rough hands do grope your pleated garments, And strangers eyes hath observed your every inch.  

Shall I compare thee to Broadway? 

Thou art more cried upon.


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