QUIZ: Which Apocalyptic Columbian Are You?
By Malia Simon
How many different petitions have you signed and/or made in the past week?
A) The correct one
C) 5 +
What do you know about Chad and Sabrina?
A) Awesome analogy for inequity!
B) It’s a valid point, but doesn’t apply to this specific situation because
C) I’m about to think of why I disagree with it. Just give me a second
Do you have a teeny, tiny dick?
A) Yes I have a teeny, tiny dick
B) No, it’s very large. Only if given consent, that is!
C) This is not an appropriate question for a quiz
D) I have an acceptable-sized dick
What is your current at-home situation like?
A) Wealthy and comfortable
B) Wealthy and comfortable
C) Wealthy and comfortable
D) Pretty difficult
Once again, how large is your dick?
A) Once again, it’s teeny tiny. Stop making me say it!
B) Large. Would you like to see it, consentually?
C) This is still problematic
D) I have an acceptable-sized dick.