You’ve heard all the rumors about how freshman orientation friend groups never stay together, but now that NSOP is over and you’ve created lifelong bonds with so many people over 2:00 AM…
DODGE HALL — This morning, President McBain Shafted announced the construction of a second gym for Columbia students to use. “We’re naming it Dodge,” she stated. “Yeah, we already have a gym…
Hi Columbia. It’s me again. I know you’ve heard my very loud and very public pleas over the last three expensive years that I’ve spent at your institution. You might’ve thought I…
A classroom of environmental science and engineering majors was befuddled recently by the strange enthusiasm of Professor Matthew Nguyen as he explained the effects of ocean acidification on the ocean’s role as…
Die-hard Core Curriculum fans rejoice! The Center for the Core Curriculum is pleased to announce its newest addition to the Columbia Core Curriculum: “Masterpieces of Personal Hygiene,” otherwise referred to as “Stank…
In the same year that the first woman ever served as vice president of the United States, a Columbia sophomore gave the Barbie Movie (Dir. Greta Gerwig, 2023) a 4.5 on his…
As both an English major and an unofficial transfer success story, I find joy in mentoring the youth; and so, I am here to caution certain crowds against joining the Barnard English…
Barnard Tunnel System Currently Under Renovation to be Transformed into Spirit Halloween for Autumn
Originally expecting a Spring 2024 completion, the renovation projects in the Francine A. LeFrak Foundation Center for Well-Being in Barnard Hall is being delayed due to a brief business venture with Spirit…
Heartened by the positive reactions to themed meals such as “May the Fourth Be With You,” and “Friendsgiving,” Columbia Dining has revealed its next big event: “The Annual Visit to the Dentist.”…
Capitalizing on the Silent Disco’s Popularity, Football Team Boasts that Their Games are Silent Too
After seeing the enormous crowds of students eager to join the Silent Disco event on Low Steps earlier this semester, the Columbia Football team has boldly proclaimed that their last game was…