Columbia to Require COVID-19 to Take Sexual Respect Training Before Infecting Students

Columbia to Require COVID-19 to Take Mandatory Sexual Respect and Peer Intervention Training before It Is Allowed to Infect Students

By Anonymous


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LOW LIBRARY — Columbia University Office of Student Life announced on Monday that Columbia will require coronavirus, sometimes referred to as COVID-19, to attend Mandatory Sexual Respect and Peer Intervention Training before it is allowed to infect students.
“We want to make sure that COVID-19 has the appropriate tools to be a productive member of our community,” stated Director of Student Life Rollie Carencia. “It’s about making sure that everyone, even an infectious disease, understands the norms of sexual respect and how to best help friends in need.” 

Before COVID-19 is allowed to infect students, it will have to attend a three-hour Sexual Respect and Community Citizenship Workshop which includes lectures, roleplay, and writing exercises. Following the workshop, COVID-19 will have to complete an online “It’s Up to Us” peer intervention resources program. If COVID-19 wishes to infect members of the Greek community, it must also complete GreekLifeEdu online training. 

As of press time, Columbia administrators were also considering whether or not COVID-19 would be required to purchase a 25 meal-a-week dining plan.